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From: Checkmate <ricksabian@gmail.corn>
Newsgroups: alt.checkmate,edmonton.general
Subject: NEW NONSENSE FROM DARWEENIE...
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Can anyone translate the following KooKbaBBle for me?


al iverson?
Inbox

Bat Man
6:18 AM (11 hours ago)
to Rachel, me, Rick, Ryan

Okay, first of all, if this is some new hot-poo poo kind of spam, let
me know because apparently I've been missing out on it.

If it's not, then I've been getting some pretty strange emails.

A little backstory: I have a couple of email accounts, one
primary/personal, and the other for junk (like when an address is
requested by persons/companies I don't want to hear from). The name on
my junk account email is "Fester Bestertester." The name is from a
recurring character from Don Martin comic strips in old issues of Mad
that I read when I was little. I just picked it at random when I was
trying to think of a name that wasn't "stiverson2005" or something.
I've never, ever gone by this name and I ONLY use this account for
form-filling out, etc.

Anyways, I guess the last time I checked the Fester Bestertester
account was sometime in the end of March, possibly April 1st at the
latest. No messages were in my inbox.

Well, after a week or so I checked it again. Now I have more than
twenty pages of messages in my inbox (and that number is increasing
every day)-- and huzzah, they're all from the same address!



Now, when I first saw all the messages on page one of my inbox, I
thought it was just spam. But then I looked more carefully, and I
started to realize that ALL 620 messages were from the same address--
I began to read them.

I sat at my computer for more than an hour, my mouth hanging open,
trying to comprehend what the gently caress I was reading.

As near as I've been able to decipher, this lady met somebody over
something called RMD (which, according to google, is rec.music.dylan,
a newsgroup for Bob Dylan fans) and had a chat. The person this lady
was chatting with apparently told her:
1. That he was Bob Dylan (and she believed him, or wanted to)
2. That he wanted to be with her.
3. To email him at festerbestertester @hotmail.com (either he pulled
the email out of his rear end not thinking/not caring if it was real,
or he told her a similar email or something)

There are a few emails where she talks about herself a bit, basically
it sounds like she is a -ahem- rather large person who never goes
outside and has her food and cigarrettes (and weed, perhaps) brought
to her by her father or something. She frequents a number of Bob Dylan
forums/groups/what have you. Upon sifting through to take screenshots,
I couldn't find some of the ones where she talks more about herself
and I wasn't about to read every single one. So here, for your
consideration, is a general idea of what all of her messages are like:



By the way, these first couple are actually the first ones I received,
and I'm assuming she started writing just after her chat with "Bob
Dylan."



Notice the time on this one and on the previous one. The emails come
every few minutes, sometimes several in a single minute-- but they're
never further than 15 mintues apart. The only time they break off is
after 4 or 5 AM, and then they start again sometime the following
day... which seems to indicate that the sender does stop writing long
enough to go to sleep.



For instance:



and



and


In the time it took me to take those screenshots, I received almost 20
new emails from this person. Between now and midnight tonight, I will
receive probably receive around a hundred more.

I should mention again-- I don't know this person, I've never even
heard of RMD or any other Bob Dylan fansites/groups/forums. I guess
it's a coincidence that she somehow came upon my email. It's not a big
deal-- like I said, the account's for junk, and I don't need it.

I haven't replied to any of these messages. Should I? What should I
do? Part of me wants to write her a serious little note, like "Hey,
um, what's the deal?" Part of me wants to mess with her, write her a
note that says "Dear Rachel, Poo Poo Pee Pee. -Bob Dylan" but I dunno,
maybe she's leading a sad enough existence as it is.

stiverson fucked around with this message at 00:46 on Apr 12, 2006

-- 
Checkmate ®
Copyright © 2021
all rights reserved 

https://youtu.be/wT-8Dm1VThc

Footloose!  https://youtu.be/mXfVaXjBFK4

***************************************************
"I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed..."  --Vallor
Message-ID: <hqhbp9F9i1dU4@mid.individual.net>   

***************************************************
"I am the author of nearly as much kook butthurt as 
kensi."    -Nadegda  
Message-ID: <pbg8ne$p9k$21@dont-email.me>
***************************************************

AUK Hammer of Thor award, Feb. 2012 (Pre-Burnore)
Destroyer of the AUK Ko0k Awards (Post-Burnore)
Co-winner Pierre Salinger Hook, Line & Sinker
award May 2001, (Brethern of Beelzebub troll)
Pierre Salinger Hook, Line & Sinker award, Feb 2012

Author, Humorist, Cynic
Philosopher, Humanitarian
Poet, Elektrishun to the Stars
Usenet Shot-Caller           

In loving memory of The Battle Kitten
May 2010-February 12, 2017