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From: will.dockery@gmail.com (W.Dockery)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.poems,alt.arts.poetry.comments
Subject: Re: Usenet's Greatest Poet / gjd
Date: Tue, 29 Apr 2025 00:05:14 +0000
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On Tue, 25 Mar 2025 16:25:32 +0000, George J. Dance wrote:

> On Mon, 24 Mar 2025 18:36:50 +0000, Will Dockery wrote:
>
>> Victor H. wrote:
>>> Will Dockery wrote:
>>>> Victor H. wrote:
>>>
>>>>> George J. Dance wrote:
>>>
>>>>>> Guess Who?
>>>
>>>>>> I'm usenet's greatest poet,
>>>>>>    At least that's what they say.
>>>>>> The Village People love my work
>>>>>>    And I'm not even gay.
>>>
>>>>>> The most prolific poet
>>>>>>     The internet has known,
>>>>>> I've written fifty thousand poems
>>>>>>     In the past week alone.
>>>
>>>>>> I sit at my computer
>>>>>>     And dream of South and North,
>>>>>> And just like vomit from a drunk
>>>>>>     The poems come gushing forth.
>>>
>>>>>> It's sometimes hard to type them,
>>>>>>     They all come out so fast,
>>>>>> And some of them are really long
>>>>>>     While some are just half-vast.
>>>
>>>>>> I've never learned poetics;
>>>>>>     I know that I don't need 'em
>>>>>> Because I simply write the poems;
>>>>>>     Let other people read 'em.
>>>
>>>>>> Oh once Bob Dylan phoned me
>>>>>>     But didn't praise my work
>>>>>> So I hung up on him. He's just
>>>>>>     A pissbum and a jerk.
>>>
>>>>>> I know he's simply jealous,
>>>>>>     Like all those guys, of me.
>>>>>> That's why they bury all my stuff;
>>>>>>     It's a conspiracy.
>>>
>>>>>> I know I could be published
>>>>>>     And everyone would buy,
>>>>>> But knowing the conspiracy
>>>>>>     Why would I even try?
>>>
>>>>>> So I just stay on usenet
>>>>>>     Where true success depends,
>>>>>> Not on your money, or your fame,
>>>>>>     But on your online friends.
>>>
>>>>>> I'm friends with half a dozen
>>>>>>     True poets just like me.
>>>>>> (Sometimes we write, sometimes we fight
>>>>>>     With the conspiracy.)
>>>
>>>>>> They say my poems are perfect,
>>>>>>     And all I have to do
>>>>>> Is thank all six, and tell them all
>>>>>>     Their poems are perfect, too.
>>>
>>>>>> ~~
>>>>>> GJD
>>>>> What is the count now G.D....
>>>
>>>>> Does everyone think this poem is about them...?
>>>
>>>> I'm sure everyone knows who this poem is about.
>>>
>>>
>>> No shit Sherlock.... ha ha...
>>
>> Hilarious.
>
> Yes, I thought this one was obvious. The references to the Village
> People and Dylan should make it obvious to any future scholars, as there
> was only one poet here who's talked to both.
>
> But of course some of the traits described in the poem can be ascribed
> to a lot of poets who've graced us. I even had one argument (from the
> Asstroll) that the poem was really about me, as I'm the one with the
> conspiracy theory. He was referring to my theory about "Team Monkey". In
> my defense, that theory was both an attempt to describe reality, and a
> parody of one group's theory of "Team Donkey" (the reality here being
> that Team Monkey was my name for that group.)
>
> The subject here was a member of Team Monkey, and the 'conspiracy'
> theory I'd had in mind was that group's "Team Donkey" theory. Based on
> merely the fact that Will Dockery invites every poet he runs into to
> join aapc, they theory is that this was a plot by Will and his minions
> to fill the group with more of them (called "plants", in an aparent
> reference to Invasion of the Body Snatchers), and take over the group
> that way.
>
> As Rand said: "Don't bother to examine a folly. Ask yourself only what
> it accomplishes." What belief in the "Team Donkey" theory accomplished
> was that Team Monkey began seeing every new person  who joined or simply
> posted with suspicion as another Team Donkey "plant" - with the
> predictable result that over the past 6 years, none of the them have
> stayed in the group.

Again, well put.