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From: Praetor Mandrake <horchata12839@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre
Subject: Disarmed at school
Date: Sun, 29 Jun 2025 08:13:49 -0500
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On my first day of kindergarten I moved in on a girl. We got to playing 
a board game and she said, "Can I cheat?"

I told this story to the people around me and they said I didn't handle 
it right. It was the first mistake I made. My mates said my response was 
poor.

My life went in the incinerator. I don't make mistakes.

-- 

There was a blonde two steps ahead of me up the escalator. I turned my 
pistol on her and fired. It started getting chaotic and I fled the 
airport. Found a pickup truck with keys in it and took off. Sirens and 
lights followed me.

--

In court, I made the mistake of saying that I had wanted her to go to 
Hell. That wasn't true, but only an impression the prosecution had 
gained (garnered?) because of stark fear. Now it's official that I set 
fire to ladies. Court is the way things is. Say something wrong in 
court, it's official. Get an incompetent attorney, it's official. Let's 
keep on working man.

--

In the dim light of the office, Chelonia Microcyllin discussed his 
Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. His health was declining. He was 
stretched to his limit.