Path: eternal-september.org!news.eternal-september.org!.POSTED!not-for-mail
From: "Ian J. Ball" <ijball@mac.invalid>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
Subject: Re: What Did You Watch? 2024-03-13 (Wednesday)
Date: Thu, 14 Mar 2024 15:02:19 -0700
Organization: A noiseless patient Spider
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On 3/14/24 6:56 AM, anim8rfsk wrote:

> Ubiquitous <weberm@polaris.net> wrote:
>
>> I watched:
>>
>> What did you watch?
> 
> Hey, thanks for asking!
> 
> I watched.
> 
> THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE
> 
> No, not the 1972 classic.
> 
> No, not the 2006 Kurt Russell remake.
> 
> Did you know that there’s a really substandard Hallmark  version from 2005?
> I didn’t.
> 
> The guy who wrote it, switched up things as much as he could, and added all
> sorts of really stupid plot devices. This time the ship flips over because
> terrorists blow a hole in it.  But first they turn off all its electronics
> and then kill themselves so that nobody will ever know what happened. The
> Poseidon just vanished from the radar and was never heard from again. What
> the hell kind of stupid statement are the terrorists trying to make?
> 
> it has just a few people you’ve heard of at the top of the credits and then
> I think they picked up everybody else in South Africa where it was filmed.
> 
> Adam Baldwin plays Ernest Borgnine, repurposed as a sea Marshall. Stella
> Stevens stayed home.
> 
> Rutger Hauer plays Gene Hackman. Pretty much the same character.
> 
> Steve Guttenberg plays Pamela Sue Martin‘s father, a new character
> 
> Bryan Brown Plays Carol Lynley’s boyfriend, the movie producer
> 
> Peter Weller  plays Leslie Nielsen, the ships captain
> 
> Alex Kingston plays a new character some sort of CIA spook back at
> headquarters
> 
> Alexa Hamilton plays Pamela Sue Martin‘s, mother, a new character
> 
> Sylvia Sims plays Shelley Winters, whose husband died before the movie
> began
> 
> Amber Sainsbury please Pamela Sue Martin. You may remember Amber as the
> Cordelia Chase character in Hex.

I remember her. And I also remember her pretty much disappearing soon 
after "Hex"...

> Nathalie Boltt plays the ships whore who Steve Gutenberg is fooling around
> with.
> 
> Tinarie van Wyk Loots plays Carol Lynley

She seems to be attractive... And she's still working!

> The dreadful script hits most of the points you remember from the original.
> They spent way too much time trying to explain how the ship flipped over
> and stayed flipped over and they keep saying that it’s taking on water
> through the whole blown in the bottom of the hole but it’s upside down and
> the hole is way the hell out of the water so…
> 
> The ship goes down at the end with everybody else still aboard her so there
> won’t be a sequel.

Wait! - So everybody dies in the end?!!

If so, this is very un-Hallmark Channel-like!!


Ian  (What's also interesting is that I have no recollection of this 
ever having been made, or aired, despite it being from c.2005(?))