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From: The True Doctor <agamemnon@hello.to.NO_SPAM>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.drwho
Subject: Doctor Whoke S01E02 The Devil's Chord
Date: Sat, 11 May 2024 04:13:07 +0100
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More complete and utter incoherent infantile crap inspired by Loony 
Tunes instead of science fiction.

Who the hell is the audience for this garbage supposed to be?

The episode starts off with a school teacher attempting to groom a child 
by enticing him with secret piano lessons. Then after demonstrating a 
few compositions to the boy a ginger haired gay transvestite pervert 
emerges from the piano and starts giving the teacher a lecture on 
pronouns in 1925 or whenever the hell it's set.

The child turns out to be a creation of the ginger haired gay 
transvestite pervert and is zapped away, after which the teacher is 
sucked into a musical instrument and zapped away too, and all music in 
the world becomes perverted.

After this more Timeless Child crap is divulged to Gibson by Gatwa, 
dressed in gay clothes and necklaces and prancing around like a fool, 
going on about how the Time Lords were destroyed throughout time (as if 
RTD has not done that all before) and his children past and future, with 
his accent going all over the place, which according to RTD means that 
he's evil since that is the attribute he gave to the Celestial Toymaker 
who it turns out is the father of the ginger haired gay transvestite 
pervert who calls himself, oh the pervert thinks they're a quantum 
computer, I mean themselves 'Maestro'.

Gibson wants Gatwa to take her to see the Beatles recording their first 
album at Abbey Road, and the Beatles are made to look like morons that 
have no idea how to write good music. Then Cilla Black starts singing 
into a U47 turned sideways with the diaphragm facing away from her 
mouth. If the U47 was the multi-pattern version that lets you select a 
figure 8 polar pattern then it wouldn't have picked up a single thing 
she was singing if that was the pattern set. Was this deliberate in 
order to demean Cilla Black or a production error?

Then they show a classical orchestra playing nonsensical tunes too.

If the music that was perverted by the ginger haired gay transvestite 
pervert was that bad then why would anyone develop microphones like the 
U47 to even record it? Wouldn't they be stuck with 1920s microphones 
instead and only made silent movies?

After this Gatwa and Gibson talk to Paul McCartney and John Lennon in 
the EMI Studios canteen, making them appear to only want to record songs 
until they can find proper jobs.

Gatwa then gets Gibson to play something on a piano he's had hoisted up 
to the roof and people outside start opening their windows to listen to it.

Davies clearly missed the opportunity to parody the Laurel and Hardy 
piano delivery sketch in that part of the episode.

After a few tunes the ginger haired gay transvestite pervert pops out of 
the piano carrying his out of tune tuning fork and starts sucking people 
including Gibson and Gatwa into the piano and other musical instruments 
with quavers, semi-quavers, and other music notation swirling around in 
the air.

Gatwa and Gibson escape and then Davies parodies the 4th Doctor taking 
Sarah Jane back to 1980 in The Pyramids of Mars to show her that unless 
they stop the ginger haired gay transvestite pervert in 1963 then the 
whole world in the time she is from (June or July 2024?) will be totally 
destroyed and her adoptive mother will never exist. The ginger haired 
gay transvestite pervert then turns up again and Davies parodies the Tom 
and Jerry or was it the Bugs Bunny conductor cartoon. Yes, there's 
actually two of them, with Gatwa fighting the ginger haired gay 
transvestite pervert for which one of them can play the most complicated 
tune.

Eventually back at Abbey Road Gatwa and Gibson figure out of thin-air 
that they can send the ginger haired gay transvestite pervert back to 
where he came from by hitting the Devil's Chord or something, so Gatwa 
hits different individual keys on the piano and hits a bum note on the 
piano the Beatles performed most of their greatest hits on. That's 
called playing a scale, not a chord. It should have never had any chance 
of working so how did it even get to be bum note? Doesn't the retard 
Davies know anything about music? So everything gets fucked and people 
get sucked into musical instruments again.

Then out of the blue after the piano is pulled into the studio corridor 
by magic, and Loony Tunes musical notes flying through the air at the 
behest of the ginger haired gay transvestite pervert, Lennon and 
McCartney turn up and decide to play a random chord out of thin air for 
no explicable reason, since neither of them have a clue about the ginger 
haired gay transvestite pervert even being there, and that sends him 
back to his origin.

Garbage, pure garbage. The writing is absolute shit. You can't have a 
villain being defeated by pure random coincidences. This is the writing 
of a 6 year old child that doesn't know how to write a story properly.

After the villain's demise for no explicable or believable reason Gatwa 
tells Gibson that there's always a twist at the end of all of his 
adventures and everyone starts performing and dancing the Twist as if 
they're in a Bollywood movie to Gatwa singing some crap song, written by 
Murray Gold, with what seems to be a Sure SM 5B making an appearance, 
the Beatles still singing crap, and Cilla Black still singing into her 
U47 pointing sideways. And during this idiotic dance routine the child 
persona of the ginger haired gay transvestite pervert makes an 
appearance in a doorway, and the musical number continues until Gibson 
and Gatwa are in the TARDIS and close the doors twice for the finale.

This is not Doctor Who in any way shape or form. It's a degenerate gay 
(meaning rubbish) parody.

Doctor Who ended in 2017!

0/10

-- 
The True Doctor https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCngrZwoS0n21IRcXpKO79Lw

"To be woke is to be uninformed which is exactly the opposite of what it 
stands for." -William Shatner