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From: "Ian J. Ball" <ijball@mac.invalid>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv
Subject: Re: What Did You Watch? 2024-06-08 (Saturday)
Date: Sun, 9 Jun 2024 10:48:58 -0700
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On 6/9/24 8:09 AM, Dimensional Traveler wrote:

> What Did You Watch?

Yesterday, lots of stuff:

The Vigilante (Tubi) - This 2023 flick was an odd one - it couldn't 
decide if it was a "message film" like a Lifetime flick or if it was a 
low-budget actioner, and as a result it kind of didn't succeed at either 
- it wasn't "action-y" enough IMO, but it was also way too violent to be 
a Lifetime flick.
    German-American actress Jet Jandreau stars as a marine, initially 
stationed in Afghanistan. (Stuff happens in the opening that is 
unnecessary, except to establish that she has PTSD from the incident.)
    While there, her younger sister Aimee (Jamie Timmons, who obviously 
is a dancer) gets pinched by human traffickers who want a "dancer" type. 
(I had problems with this, as the traffickers didn't pinch her even 
cuter friend who was driving - why wouldn't you take 2 for the price of 
one?!)
    Of course, the Marine immediately comes home, and meets up with a 
fellow retired Marine (Eric Pierce), who of course is conveniently some 
kind of computer genius-type (as well as being handy with weapons on 
ops!). They soon start investigating, and raiding human trafficking 
"warehouses" (usually in residential neighborhoods) on their own to try 
to find the sister.
    This wasn't deep, and it was too "message-y" for what it was 
offering. But the fight scenes were actually well filmed (did they get 
the "Arrow" stunt crew on this?!) and seemed realistic (if perhaps 
choreographed a tad slower than they should have been...).
    I'm still wondering how the lead heroine went to jail at the end of 
this, but her ex-marine partner apparently didn't!?!

golf - I caught enough of Day 3 of the Memorial to see that Scottie 
Scheffler was well ahead in another tourney this year, and lost interest.

Blockers (Peacock) - In glorious 4k!!
    Wait! What?!! Why the heck are they showing this in 4k?!! (Maybe NBC 
Universal is trying to upgrade their film library?!...)
    I had never managed to get to this raunchy 2018 comedy before.
    It stars Jon Cena (who always seems up for mayhem!), along with 
Leslie Mann (amazing she is still around) and Ike Barinholtz (who 
funnily enough I've never really run across much before as I didn't 
watch "The Mindy Show") play over protective parents to three teen girls 
(Geraldine Viswanathan, Kathryn Newton and Gideon Adlon, respectively).
    Inappropriate wackiness ensues when the three parents (actually, at 
first it's just Cena and Mann, with Barinholtz trying to stop them) vow 
to stop their daughters from losing their virginity on prom night.
    This was amusing enough, though I'm not necessarily a fan of raunchy 
comedy - I did like the bits with Gary Cole and Gina Gershon as fellow 
hot-to-trot parents.

Maxton Hall (actual title: "Maxton Hall - Die Welt zwischen uns") 
(Prime) - Ep. #1.1 In the original German! (And in HDR!)
    I am very confused by this - this is a German series, filmed in 
German (stupid Prime made me go in to manually change the audio track to 
its native German, but I put English subtitles on), but set in England 
very clearly - IOW, this isn't German students at an English boarding 
school! It's supposed to be *English students*, in England! who for some 
reason are talking in German!!
    (And it's even weirder - the YA novel this series is based on is 
written by a German author, but I guess she set the book in England?!?)
    Anyway, this YA series shares the same problem that plenty of 
Hallmark romance flicks do - while the lead girl, Ruby (Harriet 
Herbig-Matten) is plucky and generally likeable (though Herbig-Matten is 
one of those young women who is so skinny that she has almost 
nonexistent calves!), the "handsome rich boy" (Damian Hardung) is so 
thoroughly unlikable and contemptible that I am have a lot of trouble 
understanding why should be rooting for these two to get together, 
potential hott sexx!1! be damned!
    Anyway, for "reasons", these two immediately get to hating each 
other, once "handsome rich boy" is forced to notice the under-the-radar 
bookish "smart (but poorer!) girl". By the end of the first episode, for 
more "reasons", they are forced to work together by the school's 
headmaster. (See where this is going?!)
    This series is only 6 episodes (though it has already been renewed 
for season #2), so I will probably make my way through this...
    Sidenote: The best looking person in this cast is "handsome rich 
boy's" beautiful redheaded, but scandalous! sister (she's having an 
affair with a teacher), played by Sonja Weißer - import her to America, 
STAT!!  ;p

The Girl Locked Upstairs: The Tanya Kach Story (Lifetime) - This was 
about as I expected - depressing through and through (though, at the 
same time, underdeveloped).
    Jordyn Ashley Olson (likely best known from 2018's "Dragged Across 
Concrete") plays Tanya Kach, a 14-year-old high school freshman living 
in a foster home (we never get the reasons for why her mother is legally 
prevented from seeing her daughter), who is picked on by everyone in the 
high school. Her only friend is the school's security guard (Robert 
Baker), who of course is a creepy predator.
    Soon enough, the security guard convinces the girl to run away from 
the foster home, once rejected (again) by her mother (though, again, 
it's for "legal reasons") and come live with him. Obviously, school is 
out of the question at this point too. The issue is that the dude lives 
with his elderly parents, and so keeps Tanya locked in his upstairs bedroom.
    Where she is basically held captive for years and years. Eventually, 
once she's past 18, the guard starts letting her outside on short 
errands, where she eventually gets enough courage to turn on the 
bastard. At the end, we get a flashforward 12 years, but all of the 
details of the intervening years are left out. IOW, this film really 
didn't cover some of the important details enough.

Clickbait: Unfollowed (Tubi) - Written and directed by Katherine Barrell 
and Melanie Scrofano!! (who also appear!).
    Filmed in Cape Town!! (Wait! - Why wasn't this filmed in 
Can-a-der?!!) It also seems like the "talent" in this one is South 
African as well.
    Tubi categorizes this one, released just on Friday, as "horror", but 
it's more accurately "dark comedy horror".
    Six "influencers" - it's actually 7, as one influencer "team" is a 
10-year-old boy and his predatory mother (Jessica Stanley) - are invited 
to a mansion for a competition to improve their social media presence.
    But, as you might expect, this competition is deadly for the losers! 
(Once place the film falls down is with special effects - the first 
death is especially poorly EFX'ed...)
    Will anyone get out alive?! Are any of these influencers worth 
saving?!! And who is doing all of this?!!!
    This was amusing in parts. But there are some plot holes - I never 
really got/bought the villains' motivations for doing all of this. And 
were their Squid Game-esque henchmen supposed to be real people, or robots?!
    Also, you never actually see Barrell's face in this movie, as she's 
wearing a hideous mask (it's supposed to be cosmetic surgery... well, 
sort of!).
    Bottom line: This was OK, maybe made slightly more enjoyable for 
knowing that Barrell and Scrofano wrote and directed it.


What did you watch?