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From: BillGill <tonisdad215@gmail.com>
Newsgroups: sci.electronics.design
Subject: Re: hobby electronics
Date: Wed, 10 Jul 2024 08:28:48 -0500
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On 7/9/2024 6:41 PM, Don Y wrote:
>> I am only scanning in my collection of fiction books.  Sorting
>> them should be relatively easy, although my daughter is also
>> a reader, so she might have a problem sorting out the ones she
>> wants to keep.
> 
> Do you really think she will want to spend that time when she
> also has your sudden "malady" weighing on her mind?
> 
> I've watched many friends/neighbors moved into assisted care
> (or worse, "memory care") facilities.  Leaving their "stuff"
> and "home" behind is very traumatic for them.  Esp as they
> often have delayed that transition to a point where adjusting
> to a new environment (new friends, etc.) is exceedingly
> difficult.
> 
> The woman two doors down made that transition a few years
> ago -- at the insistence of her children (cuz she was
> unable to take care of her own physical needs).  Because
> her mind had deteriorated a fair bit, she was unable to
> process the fact that she was no longer in "her" home which
> just added to her confusion.
> 
> Another friend delayed that transition until a few months before
> (unexpectedly) dying.  Leaving her husband to deal with the
> loss of their long-term "dream home" (and possessions) on top
> of her death.
> 
> The folks across the street just moved east -- to enjoy the
> cold winters?  They will similarly discover that their memories
> of what life WAS like, back there, won't serve them well.  And,
> their bodies won't be as able to deal with iced sidewalks,
> cold/rainy weather, experiencing the deaths of their old friends
> "first hand" (vs. getting an email about someone's passing),
> the added chores consequential to life, there, etc.  This on top
> of having to liquidate their home (possessions) of 40 years, here.
> 
> I'm not keen on finding myself (or SWMBO after my demise) in
> a similarly traumatic "adjustment".  To that end, I can afford
> to rid myself of dead trees, paper financial/business records,
> test equipment, etc.
> 
> "What do I *need* this for, at this point in my life?"
> 
> YMMV.  But don't underestimate the impact it will have on
> those around you!
> 
My position is different from those you mentioned.  My
daughter lives in a rented house, while I live mortgage
free.  20 years ago when my brother died I made a vow
not to collect 'stuff'.  I have been through the house
several times trying to get rid of 'stuff'.  It is of
course a losing battle, but when I die I will not leave
huge lots of stuff cluttering up the house.  My daughter's
main problem in that regard is deciding how to merge
her furnishings into my house.  Hopefully she will be
able to just make the cut and then call the Salvation
Army to take away what she doesn't need.  And she has,
unfortunately, just been through that experience.  Her
boy friend died and she had to separate his stuff from
her stuff and get it appropriately dispersed.

So her big problem will be sorting my library, and she
will be happy to have a lot of the books.  Sorting them
will be a chore, but not one that, hopefully, will
call out a lot of memories.

Which doesn't mean that she won't be distressed by my
passing, it just means that I will try to leave as
little for her to do as I can.

Bill