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Path: ...!eternal-september.org!feeder3.eternal-september.org!news.eternal-september.org!eternal-september.org!.POSTED!not-for-mail From: Gary McGath <garym@mcgath.com> Newsgroups: rec.music.filk Subject: Re: New filk Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2025 21:10:39 -0500 Organization: Mad Scientists' Union Lines: 21 Message-ID: <vmhmuv$1a8pr$1@dont-email.me> References: <iqboojhhcos7gt45douo1p2d19n57ivac0@4ax.com> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Injection-Date: Sun, 19 Jan 2025 03:10:40 +0100 (CET) Injection-Info: dont-email.me; posting-host="5480fabc8d94a7ead848f87d7b86c46b"; logging-data="1385275"; mail-complaints-to="abuse@eternal-september.org"; posting-account="U2FsdGVkX1/Gy0mgk4QgJJSvuyykWqL0FstJwaufIy0=" User-Agent: Mozilla Thunderbird Cancel-Lock: sha1:uvyc9ScBTMPdXvh7dtXh+z1XM9w= Content-Language: en-US In-Reply-To: <iqboojhhcos7gt45douo1p2d19n57ivac0@4ax.com> Bytes: 1874 On 1/18/25 5:52 PM, Arthur T. wrote: > If there's anyone left here, I'd like suggestions for a title. > Similarly, even I have problems keeping scansion on the third line of > the chorus, so let me know how it works for you. > > ttto: Chim Chim Cheree by Richard M. Sherman and Robert B. Sherman > > Wake nor asleep, but seems that you're somewhere between > You find you're aware of things half-way unseen > While in this state you can't decide if they are real > And you can't tell whether you feel what you feel > So what does it hide; what does it reveal? The scansion on the chorus seems fine to me. The words are a little tricky to sing, but a moderately good singer should be able to handle them with some practice, perhaps slowing the tempo down a hair from the original song. -- Gary McGath http://www.mcgath.com