Path: ...!weretis.net!feeder9.news.weretis.net!news.quux.org!eternal-september.org!feeder3.eternal-september.org!news.eternal-september.org!eternal-september.org!.POSTED!not-for-mail From: Bobbie Sellers Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written Subject: Re: Gerbilling Date: Tue, 14 Jan 2025 21:07:28 -0800 Organization: nil Lines: 42 Message-ID: References: Reply-To: blissInSanFrancisco@mouse-potato.com MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=UTF-8; format=flowed Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Injection-Date: Wed, 15 Jan 2025 06:07:29 +0100 (CET) Injection-Info: dont-email.me; posting-host="d90b7cd236293c01f47ac41e7126d589"; logging-data="2980692"; mail-complaints-to="abuse@eternal-september.org"; posting-account="U2FsdGVkX1/qjfYjUkj5VI7fv7qqYTCp" User-Agent: Mozilla Thunderbird Cancel-Lock: sha1:2488jSpWOY3kmSh1N80uB2JBa4k= Content-Language: en-US In-Reply-To: Bytes: 2961 On 1/14/25 20:13, "Michael Ejercito www.latimes.com > > "In retrospect, lighting the match was my big mistake. But I was only > trying to save the gerbil," Eric Tomaszewski told the bemused doctors in > the Severe Burns Unit of Salt Lake City Hospital. Tomaszewski and his > homosexual partner, Andrew "Kiki" Farnum, had been admitted for > emergency treatment after a felching session had gone seriously wrong. > > "I pushed a cardboard toilet paper tube up his rectum and slipped > Ragout, our gerbil, in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out > 'Armageddon,' my cue that he'd had reached nirvana, so to speak. I tried > to retrieve Ragout but he simply would not come out, so I peered into > the tube and struck a match, thinking the light might attract him." > > At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what > happened next. > > "The match ignited a pocket of intestinal methane gas in Kiki's colon. > Flames shot out the tube, ignited Mr. Tomaszewski's hair and severely > burning his face. It also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers, > causing it to scurry further up Kiki's colon, which in turn ignited a > larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out > of the cardboard tube like a cannonball.' > > Tomaszewski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the > impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree > burns to his anus and lower intestinal tract. > > Sadly, Ragout the gerbil did not survive the incident. > Well you abuse your gerbil and it may cause problems beyond your imagination. bliss - treat your pets well and only consensually.